hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
