He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
