why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
