my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
