Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
