My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize