Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
