I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
