I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
