Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
