IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize