morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize