The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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