I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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