He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
two words...techno handjob
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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