i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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