Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
