Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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