I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
