Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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