sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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