Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize