I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
