did you get engaged???
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
