he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize