It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
