You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
