Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
