how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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