hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
