I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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