considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize