I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
