his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize