what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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