check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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