Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
