No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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