Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
only if we run a train.
done.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
