I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
