Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize