69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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