so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
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