Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I AM VODKA MAN
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
