My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
false alarm, still single
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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