What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Someone signed my nipple.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
