is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
