so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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