just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
