She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He passed out mid-signature
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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