I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
