Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
