Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
we should paint friendship bongs
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