its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
third nipple confirmed
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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