Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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