We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
