3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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