so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
