omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Randomize
