yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
