We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
