Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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